From Rose Fox:

Typical slanted news story; no mention of whether the table was over 18 or had given its consent.

Police: Man Had Sex With Picnic Table
NBC10.com
March 28, 2008

Anonymous Tip Led Police To Arrest

Bellevue, Ohio — Police said an Ohio man has been arrested for allegedly having sex with a picnic table.

Police arrested Arthur Price Jr. after an anonymous tipster dropped off three DVDs that reportedly showed Price in the act.

According to NBC Toledo, Ohio, affiliate WNWO-TV, the videos show Price tilting the metal round picnic table on its side and then laying up against it to have sexual intercourse with the table. Afterward, he can then be seen cleaning the table and the deck.

During questioning, he reportedly admitted to having sex with the table. Police said he also admitted to bringing the table inside his home for sex.

Price faces four counts of public indecency. He was freed after posting $20,000 bond, authorities said.

Submitted by Rose Foster:

Yale student claims to make art from her induced miscarriages–but it’s a hoax [Editor’s note: see updates at the end in which she claims it is not a hoax]

Aliza Shvarts ‘Abortion Art’ Project a ‘Creative Fiction,’ Yale Says
by David Emery
About.com: Urban Legends
April 17, 2008

Yale art student Aliza Shvarts delivered a one-two punch to the media on Thursday, beginning with the announcement of her senior project: an exhibition chronicling a nine-month period during which she impregnated herself “as often as possible” with semen from voluntary donors then videotaped herself inducing miscarriages and preserving the bloody byproducts thereof. “I hope it inspires some sort of discourse,” Shvarts was quoted as saying in the Yale Daily News. She got her wish in spades. The announcement sent shock waves through the blogosphere, eliciting disgust and outrage from every quarter, expressed via headlines on the order of “The Art of Murder” and “Aliza Shvarts Is a Monster.”

Hours later came an announcement from the Yale University Office of Public Affairs stating that the art project was just that — art. “The entire project is … a creative fiction designed to draw attention to the ambiguity surrounding form and function of a woman’s body,” read the statement by Yale spokesperson Helaine Klasky. “She stated to three senior Yale University officials today, including two deans, that she did not impregnate herself and that she did not induce any miscarriages.” (more…)

Submitted by Rose Fox:

Man said ‘wombat rape’ led to accent change
by Nick Squires
Telegraph
March 28, 2008

A New Zealand man who claimed he was raped by a wombat and that the experience left him speaking with an Australian accent has been found guilty of wasting police time.

Arthur Cradock, 48, from the South Island town of Motueka, called police last month to tell them he was being raped by the marsupial at his home and needed urgent assistance.

Cradock, an orchard worker, later called back to reassure the police operator that he was all right.

“I’ll retract the rape complaint from the wombat, because he’s pulled out. Apart from speaking Australian now, I’m pretty all right you know. I didn’t hurt my bum at all.”

He pleaded guilty in Nelson District Court to using a phone for a fictitious purpose and was sentenced to 75 hours’ community work. (more…)

Submitted by Rose Fox:

The Guardian explains the internet phenomenon of “rick-rolling”. Don’t miss the exclusive interview with Rick Astley where he tells them just what he thinks of the whole thing.

Taking the Rick
by Sean Michaels
guardian.co.uk
March 19, 2008

Twenty years after “Never Gonna Give You Up”, Rick Astley became an internet phenomenon - and an unlikely weapon against Scientology

It was more than twenty years ago that Rick Astley’s Never Gonna Give You Up first topped the charts. “Never gonna say goodbye,” he crooned in his surprisingly basso voice - and who knew how right he was.

Today we’re in a different century, a different millennium, a very different era than the one that first offered up twerpy, earnest, high-waistbanded Astley. But his song, and its video in particular, have found new life in the time of YouTube. Never Gonna Give You Up is at the centre of one of the internet’s hottest memes - and if you haven’t already fallen victim, it’s only a matter of time.

Watch the video:

It’s called the “rick-roll”. You’re innocently browsing an apparently useful website and see a link to something else that might be of interest, but when you click through to that destination you instead find yourself confronted with Astley’s boyish smile, his manly croon, his awkward 1987 dance-moves.

The link was a fake, a trap, a dummy with the nefarious purpose of… bringing you face-to-face with the ridiculous. (more…)

Submitted by Rose Fox:

Pranksters steal a statue of Jesus and leave a hilarious ransom note saying they won’t give it back until its owner starts picking up after her dogs.

Submitted by Rose Fox:

From Coilhouse magazine — I think I might be straight: A pamphlet on how to come to terms with your heterosexuality.

Submitted by Rose Fox:

An anonymous message tricks basketball player into thinking he’s going to be traded from a great team to a terrible one.

Trade hoax no joking matter for Barbosa
by Jerry Brown
East Valley Tribune
January 19, 2008

By the end of the day, Leandro Barbosa was laughing about a practical joke that had him scurrying around the team’s Beverly Hills hotel Thursday. But for a while, a phone hoax that had Barbosa believing he was traded to the New York Knicks was no laughing matter.

Barbosa, who made the mistake of registering under his own name, was in his room when he received an anonymous phone call “informing him” of a trade, and telling him he needed to meet Suns general manager Steve Kerr in the hotel lobby.

“My heart was hurting,” Barbosa said. “Every time I hear the word ‘trade,’ … it’s just not a comfortable word for me at all. This is my team. I went a little crazy.”

Frantic and near tears, Barbosa rushed to the lobby in search of coaches or team personnel for answers before he was finally assured it was all a hoax.

“I said, ‘L.B., use your head. Don’t you think I would have told you if something like that was even possible?’ ” said Suns assistant and Barbosa confidant Dan D’Antoni, who was able to put his fears to rest. “I told him, ‘You’ve got to use someone else’s name when you check into a hotel. If someone told me to come down to the front desk and pick up a million dollars, do you think I’d start running for the elevator?’ ”

Even hours later, it was no joking matter for Barbosa. “That was a terrible thing,” he said.

Another article (from the receiving end):

[Editor’s note: Controversies have always surrounded incitements to war. The sinking of the U.S.S. Maine in 1898, which precipitated the Spanish American War could have been an act of sabotage meant to start the war, or an accidental explosion. The true cause is still unknown. This week’s interaction between Iranian speedboats and the U.S. Navy, with both sides producing different video documentation, may also be a prelude to the beginnings of a bigger conflict. We may never know the truth about either, however, sometimes all that’s needed is the declassification of existing but secret documents…]

Submitted by Rose Fox:

Report reveals Vietnam War hoaxes, faked attacks
Yahoo News
January 8, 2008

Washington (AFP) - North Vietnamese made hoax calls to get the US military to bomb its own units during the Vietnam War, according to declassified information that also confirmed US officials faked an incident to escalate the war.

The report was released by the National Security Agency, responsible for much of the United States’ codebreaking and eavesdropping work, in response to a “mandatory declassification” request, the Federation of American Scientists (FAS) said Monday.

From the first intercepted cable — a 1945 message from Vietnamese leader Ho Chi Minh to his Russian counterpart Joseph Stalin — to the final evacuation of US spies from Saigon, the 500-page report retold Vietnam War history from the perspective of “signals intelligence,” the group said in a statement. (more…)

From Rose Fox:

A UK celebrity deliberately publishes his bank account information to prove that it’s safe, and then is surprised when someone uses it to donate £500 to charity.

Clarkson stung after bank prank
bbc.co.uk
January 7, 2008

TV presenter Jeremy Clarkson has lost money after publishing his bank details in his newspaper column.

The Top Gear host revealed his account numbers after rubbishing the furore over the loss of 25 million people’s personal details on two computer discs.

He wanted to prove the story was a fuss about nothing.

But Clarkson admitted he was “wrong” after he discovered a reader had used the details to create a £500 direct debit to the charity Diabetes UK. (more…)

Submitted by Rose Fox

From Gothamist, December 17, 2007:

Mystery Bench Baffles City Officials

A Gothamist tipster emailed us this photo of a prohibitively tall bench on the median of East Houston Street near Suffolk. Is this guerrilla art or city-sanctioned furniture? The new cool “Bench Club” for East Village scenesters? A lawsuit in-waiting from the city’s more vertically challenged residents? A prototype anti-homeless bench? A photoshop hoax? (more…)

Poop exhibitionism, ever so delicately submitted by Rose Fox:

Testimonials on The Colon Cleansing Kit™ from Blessed Herbs:

Aloha!

First of all, I must say it feels a bit weird to be sending pics of my poo to complete strangers… but all in the name of good sportsmanship! It felt even stranger to TAKE pics of my poo…

My name is Susan; I am 24 and live in beautiful HI. I have had GI problems as long as I can remember. After my husband and I made a big move from our hometown on the mainland to Hawaii, I was feeling pretty toxic. I wasn’t having regular bowel movements. I had tried colonics, diet modification, exercise, everything I could think of and was feeling pretty desperate. That is when I did a search for cleanses on the Internet and came across Blessed Herbs.

…I did the fast, only had the toxin absorber, organic apple, and some veggie broth with miso and, a ton of water. By day two my body was getting rid of some pretty nasty things and by day 5, I couldn’t believe the results…

Visit blessedherbs.com for more testimonials and photos.

Submited by Rose Fox from David Wong’s Pointless Waste of Time:

“Do you love Harry Potter, but think you’re too old and too awesome to be seen reading the books?

We have the solution, my friend. Print these out and you can safely read your Potter in front of all those ex Navy SEALS at the local strip club.”

Cover by Camerhil
(more…)

…or so numerous people believed before it was revealed to be a deftly executed hoax. Havidol (the brand name of generic drug avafynetyme) is an entirely nonexistent anti-depressant, the brainchild of artist Justine Cooper, but that hasn’t stopped it from being featured on numerous community-run websites that purport to inform the miserable masses about their options for psychopharmaceutical salvation. Cooper set out to skewer drug companies and their advertising that masquerades as unbiased consumer information. It’s just a bonus that she also shed light on how easy it is for well-meaning individuals to disseminate plausible but completely incorrect information in the name of providing a public service. - RF

UNDERSTANDING HAVIDOL

HAVIDOL is for the treatment of Dysphoric Social Attention Consumption Deficit Anxiety Disorder (DSACDAD). It is the only known medication available for this newly recognized disorder.

Reuters video about the hoax campaign

Thanks to the fine folks at LifeGem, when a loved one is cremated, instead of keeping their ashes in a box on the mantel, you can have them made into a diamond. Not content to rest on their laurels, they’ve now teamed up with John Reznikoff and his collection of celebrity hair (valued at over $5 million) to bring you diamonds made at least partially from the ashes of someone famous. The diamond comes in a box, but it wouldn’t be hard to have it put in an appropriately garish setting.

The Beethoven LifeGem® diamond. To showcase our newest technology, we are creating three LifeGem diamonds with the carbon from Ludwig van Beethoven’s hair!

Seeing is believing!

It’s unclear what Maria Estela Lima thought she would gain by claiming her husband had been swallowed by a boa constrictor, but in the wash of media attention that followed, it was discovered that the Paraguayan housewife was spinning a yarn. Her husband had simply left her, as husbands sometimes do. Perhaps she wanted to find a nice reporter or cameraman to keep her company. Read on at Reuters…